No jokes huh? How about a rant?

Today's evening was one of the most enjoyable this week. Even though I studied for almost entire time. Even though an hour ago, with an intention of making supper, I realized the fridge was swept clean. Even though there was no electricity for an hour.

I was home alone.

I'm probably anti-social, but I just hate to be disturbed while at home. Sure, during social situations I'm far from sitting in a corner with my mouth shut, but when it comes to staying home, others might not exist for me. The feeling was only empowered with finding the new place after returning from the Netherlands.

I knew what I was signing in for, an apartment shared with four more people that was designed for about two. "Whatever" I thought "After having looked for a single room for a few days and not finding one (don't even get me started on that) I'll go with a place that's at least close to school." And it's true, I can leave my room 5 minutes before the classes start and still be on time. However, living with 4 other (rather 5, but about that later) has some major disadvantages.

And the constantly occupied bathroom is the least significant of them.

Basically, I'm not content with 2 things. First, the people are a bunch of slackers! There are 3 girls and 1 guy, and I haven't seen any of them study at all, period. One of the girls is always out with friends, and considering the fact that her books are almost covered with spider webs, I doubt she meets with them in a library. Next one I've briefly seen, like, about 4 times in my life, so I don't know anything about her. The last one claims she studies (at least when she speaks on the phone with her angry about her not passing yet another exam mother) but still has to show me some proof of that. What she does though, is having her boyfriend at the place all the time! The guy eats here, sleeps here, and uses up the electricity and water WE pay for. He's the 6th person 'living' in the house, and it's getting kind of ridiculous.

If those aren't that bad, how about my roommate? The guy is a first year student at some private school and his days look something like this:
7.00 - the alarm clock sets off, he turns it off, roll over to the other side, claiming he didn't have to go to the 8.00 classes anyway
8.00 - still sleeping
(now my description may be a bit off, as I leave for school at about 8.00)
10.00 (as based on the few days I actually was home at that time) - slowly gets up, goes to the bathroom, eats something, sets out to school... sets out in the general direction of school, hardly ever reaching it.
15.00 - gets back from wherever he was. Here where two possible scenarios may occur:
- he either brings his girlfriend along and they're all lovey-dovey, forcing me to go outside due to getting sick from all this sweet-talk
- he goes to sleep
20.00 - both of the scenarios end, eats supper
21.00 - plays fighting games on my PSP, mashing the buttons like there's no tomorrow (only this week I 'accidentally' forgot to bring his favorite game sooo...)
(alternative) 21.00 - goes to sleep

That's all. Really, there's nothing else. My question "Where do you keep your books?" was answered simply by "Ain't got any.". Lucky him:/ I'm probably jealous of all the free time they have. In KJO we work really hard for our grades. Those guys do nothing. They'll probably be earning more after they will have finished their studies (however long it may take). Talk about fair world.

The second thing that I have trouble coping with is the overwhelming amount of love problems those guys have. I've just learned to hum the main theme of "The bold and the beautiful" whenever I open the door, as I know something is bound to hit me after entering. Either it's a lovers' argument, a bigger lovers' argument or... well, lovers' argument? Come on, you can't fight all the time! "What do you care?" some may ask "just don't listen to it". My rebuttal is: I'd really like to. Unfortunately, the place is VERY small, and they are VERY loud. "We can't be together because he says it would be a misalliance, as I have two new tractors;( " (authentic quote, even I wouldn't be able to come up with something like that). Never did I appreciate headphones as I do now. Just put them on and imagine this insanity asylum doesn't exist.

Having read the above, I dare you, condemn my desire to sit alone and study in peace. Just a few months and I'm busting out of this joint. And then I'll find a SINGLE ROOM in a place with THICK WALLS. Is it that much to ask for?

KJO - kangaroo jumps over

So, we are to write about who forced us... I mean, why we decided to become students of the prestigious KJO in Poznań. My guess is the modern building and spacious classrooms. Seriously, I don't know. It was yet another school that taught English, why not try applying there? I hadn't heard any positive (or negative for that matter) comments about it... nor about any other school I choose. I was more of a happy-go-lucky person not really caring that much about anything.

Yes, I know that's nothing to boast about, thank you.

Almost three years have passed. And now? And now I don't think I've changed that much. The school has taught me many things, from how to make a listening activity more interesting to how to prove that Moby Dick can be seen as Jesus. Some things more interesting than other, as you might guess. I regret nothing. It was fun. I've met some great people, both students and teachers. I've been sent to represent our country in the Netherlands (what's their view on Polish people after that should remain a secret, however). I've shocked teachers with my silly ideas. Good times.

I don't know if I'm cut out to be a teacher (it's somehow demotivating when your friends say things like 'I pity the poor, poor children') but who knows what the future will bring.

(See? Told you I could write an almost completely serious post! In your face, those of poor faith!)

The metamorphosis?

Today, 4 different people gave me their words of advice (with no malice of course) which can be summarized in one imperative sentence.

"Don't be a smart-mouth!"

OK, not once did I get such advice, but never so many in so short a time. Maybe I'm overdoing it? One way to find out. As of today, I vow to submit to the rules given below to the best of my abilities, and persevere in doing it for an entire week. With a box of cornflakes as my witness.

So, during this week, I won't:

- drop one-liners whenever possible, be it social events or the time the teacher tries to elicit some info from us
- tell jokes
- write about killing pets
- claim women are old after hitting 21 (or whatever age the girl in question is -1)
- laugh at people who, at the age of 22, are still asked to present ID when buying beer
- say I hate people who speak German in my presence
- submit to the temptation of using emoticons
- draw dots in my friends' notes
- talk about Godzilla instead of studying
- draw giant robots or angry jelly monsters during class
- argue with my friend who would win if we had anime-like powers
- pull girls' hair
- throw pencils at people
- play with rubber pigs taken out from somebody's bag
- say things that even remotely have two or more meanings
- use my pen as a lightsaber and try to cut my friends' heads off
- try to burn Anita with my Kamehameha energy projectile attack (never works, damn it!)
- say abstract things like "While the cucumber's away, the H₃A(aq) + H₂O(l) ⇌ H₃O⁺(aq) + H₂A⁻(aq) will play"
- write weird posts (like the last one) on my blog

OK, that's the bulk of it. So, for this week, don't expect to see any funny stuff here, instead I give you a very interesting piece about butter (from Wikipedia):

Butter is made by churning fresh or fermented cream or milk. Butter is used as a spread and a condiment, as well as in cooking applications such as baking, sauce making, and frying. As a result, butter is consumed daily in many parts of the world. Butter consists of butterfat surrounding minuscule droplets consisting mostly of water and milk proteins. The most common form of butter is made from cows' milk, but it can also be made from the milk of other mammals, including sheep, goats, buffalo, and yaks. Salt, flavorings, or preservatives are sometimes added to butter. Rendering butter produces clarified butter or ghee, which is almost entirely butterfat.

Better? I hope so. Remember, don't hesitate to slap me in the face if you see me doing one of the things above (I mean above the butter part). You'll really help me in my study of self.

Nihon no onnanoko? Hai, o kudasai.

I'm officially ending my survey. The topic?

"Do you find Japanese schoolgirls hot?"

Why am I ending it? Is it too immoral and dirty a topic to talk about? By no means. I'm ending it because I've proven my point.

The results are 89:3...

... and yes, the second numer is for those scarce few who, in their insanity, answered "no". A biology student, a city clerk, a salesman. That's it.

Males of 7 nationalities took part in the survey: Poles, Germans, Americans, Dutch, Turks, Switz, and Czechs. All, but for the 3 mentioned above, answered either "yes" or "hell yeah!".

Why did I even bother to make such survey? Well, to make a long story short, it's a matter of honor. When a friend called me a pervert after I had voiced my opinion on Japanese girls, I decided to prove to her that it's not a matter of taste - it's in men's genes. So, in the past 6 months I asked most of my friends and acquaintances for how they felt about JS. Some went a step further and asked their friends as well. And so it had spread, with every person's data meticulously preserved in my precious notebook. Now I can finally reveal the truth. Shocked? If yes, you certainly don't know how men think, and are therefore a girl.

Girls, it's not our fault we find JS sexy. Every man does, it's as natural as breathing. You won't understand that, but neither do we understand your obsession with Brad Pitt or whomever. It's just the way world works.

So, did I succeed? Did she eat her words? Well, partially. Sure she was sorry for calling me a pervert. She said she should have called all men perverts in the first place:/ Meh.

Individual info:
Sjoerd, Miszcz, Pawoł, Grzyb - thanks guys, couldn't have done it without you
Młody - you're weird... like really, really, really weird
Magda - Nanana nanana nananananana

For whom the bell tolls?

Breaking news! He proposed! She accepted! Soooo...

I'm going to be my brother's best man!

Yeah, I knew that there was something fishy with her comming over today, bringing champaigne and stuff. Felt it in my bones, when asked my mum this morning when the wedding was. And the shocker. Well, it's still a year, but do you imagine my brother walking down the isle? I can't, yet.

The best man, huh? That's not an easy job, as it turns out. Not only will I have to drink with every single person invited, condemning myself for a king of hangovers the morning after, but I'll also have to, like, talk to them. What will we talk about? Oh the usual: weather, politics. my love life. Either I bring a girlfriend to a party and I will have to ignore questions like: "So, when's your turn?", or I won't and have to ignore those like: "Why haven't you a girlfriend?". Being the youngest, I'll be the only wifeless amigo left. Thanks bro, for throwing me right into the jaws of inquisitive aunts.

The wedding has its good sides, however. He'll leave!!! Not that I hate my brother (at least not more than any healthy younger sibling), but his leave means a free room in the house! A free room I'll be sure to use well. Will it be a study full of bookcases and a fireplace? A modern 'hardcore room' full of videogame consoles and game related stuff? A nuclear shelter? The options are plenty. That's the best gift I could ever get, love ya bro:*

I get along with my (future) sister-in-law well (that's something rare, generally I consider my family to be a bunch of old farts:), so I wish them the best. The only thing I'm worried about is donning a dreaded suit again. Every time it's like bathing in acid. Oh, well, what won't one do for their family?

Congratulations and best wishes, guys!

Kill a kitten?

"When the game of life makes you feel like quittin'"

So I've heard this great song by Stephen Lynch...

"It helps a lot if you kill a kitten."

... and I decided to strenghten the image of a smartass many view me as. I would put quotes from the song as status descriptions in my internet communicator.

"If you need yarn for that scarf you're knittin'
You'll get plenty when you kill a kitten."

What was the response you ask? None whatsoever! Nobody would care enough for the poor felines to scold me! People are insensitive, I give them that:/

"Flush it down the can, hit it with your van,
Drown it in a lake, bake a kitty cake
Throw it at a train, make it snort cocaine
Stick some TNT up its cat booty."

Still nothing. Come on people, aren't there any cat lovers? Notice how I put 'cat' not 'animal'. Why? Well, look at the last part of the song I typed in the status description:

"Killing kittens isn't easy,
And if the thought makes you feel queasy,
Grab a pitchfork from the shed,
And kill a puppy dog instead!"

You should've seen the amount of messages I got over the following night. From calm ones like "Not doggies" to outraged ones like "You sadist! How dare you write about killing adowable doggies!"... Not that it comes as a great shock ("Czterej pancerni i pies" is aired every summer, go figure) but it's nevertheless peculiar. Does the 'cat music' irritate us enough to wish them dead? Do we distrust those sly eyes? Are we afraid they will evolve into god-like beings and enslave us all? I, for one, have never trusted the little buggers.

Go dogs!

It's here!

Yesterday was the day! Atari gave birth to yet another Dragon Ball franchise. Dragon Ball: Shin Budokai - Another Road has landed and is ready to kick your hinies! What's so great you ask, another game with overgrown apes beating one another's faces. Well, yeah. And? That's Dragon Ball, you don't like it, that's your choice. Me and my PSP are waiting in nervous anticipation of sleepless nights and, respectivelly, hurting thumbs and buttons.

What has change in the sequel? Not that much, a new plot line, new characters, gradable transformations (yeah!), better graphics. That's it. But considering the fact that the original was good enough to succesfully keep me and my dutch pal (hi Sjord!) from studying or turning up for classes at all, if the sequel's gameplay is at least as addictive, the future's really dark for my school performance.

Well, we have to compromise sometimes. School can wait.

The basics

So...

What can an overworked and underpaid student write a blog about? Some psychos will share ther thoughts on teaching English, learning English or [put-whatever-word-you-think-is-crazy-enough] English. M'kay, let them have it their way, but thanks but no thanks. I'd rather write about things as far from education as possible. Expect anime reviews, medieval weapons descriptions or the influence of carrots on racoons. But education? Oh p-uh-lease!