Kill them! Kill them all!

Whenever I find time (sometimes time for study has to be sacrificed, but oh well) I watch anime. You know, those Japanese cartoons with girls with big eyes and... let's maybe just stick to the eyes:) I don't watch things like Pokemon (sucks, the video game, though, is very good IMHO), but try out more ambitious, or made for people above 8, stuff. A while ago, I finished watching another title - Chrno Crusade. It was good, 24 episodes packed with humor and seriousness, gags and gunfights, comical characters and charismatic devils(like, real devils, not evil people). Not to mention interesting plot, with so many turns that it made my head spin. Lastly, the animation is one of the best I've seen in an anime. It was great, right?

Wrong!

Why? Because of one simple thing. Why the plot turns, why dramatic cliff-hangers at the end of every episode? I knew how it was going to end.

The protagonists die.

Is there a new trend I know nothing about? It seems that nowadays people crave for bad endings. It was the third anime in a row in which I saw the heroic/pointless sacrifice of the characters I was made to cheer for since episode one. So, after going through the entire series, we watch the last episode. We saw the characters laugh and cry, have fun and suffer. We started to grow a liking for them. And then they are killed off. Just like that, be it when saving the world or by a stray bullet just after having saved it.

It's not only in animes, you know. If we look at movies, we see a mounting number of works in which the hero ends up in a situation not to be jealous about (off the top of my head, "The Saw" 1 & 2). In books? The Witcher was killed by Sapkowski, and all signs on heaven and earth indicate that Harry Potter won't reach puberty. Comic books? American papers write about the death of Captain America in "Captain America" no 25. Death of the good guys became a common practice of gaining more popularity and 'shocking' the public.

Why 'shocking'? Because it's no longer funny. When I see the protagonist's death for the first time, I'm all, like, wow, that's surprising. When I see it for the second time, I have a feeling of deja vu. When I see it third time in a row, I have to raise a flag. I just don't see the point. Why? Why did I watch the thing? I went through the stages of being neutral to yet another character with colorful, spiky hair (every male protagonist in an anime has those); through getting acquainted to him; and in the end rooting for him and thinking the anime-ever-popular "gambate jo"(Jap. do your best). Why the hell for? It's like giving a child a puppy, and then, when the puppy has grown up, pummeling it on the head with a shovel.

Let's summarize the things I recently saw:
- Chrno Crusade - the main couple dies holding hands after defeating the BBEG (BigBadEvilGuy), their friend when fighting her own older sister (all in all, 3 deaths out of 4 important characters)
- Orphen - the master of the protagonist, a very charismatic character who got about half of the spotlight in the anime, dies while saving the protagonist and his friends (1 death out 3 important characters)
- Eureka 7 - the main couple dies while saving two worlds (2 deaths out of 5 important characters)
- This ugly, yet beautiful world - the 2 heroines die (2 death out of 4 important characters)
- Nadesico - the main couple dies (2 deaths out of 3 important characters)
- RahXwphon - the entire world dies (many deaths)
- Neon Genesis Evangelion - ditto (but for 2 main characters, OK, I give them that)

I find those numbers disturbing. Not only there's more deaths of the good guys, but also more and more important people die. In the old times, only nameless grunts or semi-important sidekicks died (and remember, if at war, showing your girlfriend's picture to a fellow solider is like signing a death sentence on yourself). Now the big guns die, and I don't really like it.

Good is good, Evil is evil. Good defeats evil, that's what I've always believed. Now, Good gets its hiny handed over to it on a plate by Evil. Call me old fashioned, but that's not what I look when reaching for a book or movie. When I see a romantic comedy, I want the two people to be together, not part their ways and make me feel like I've could've devoted the 2 hours on something else. The detective always catches the culprit, the Jedi defeat the Sith, Ninja Turtles always beat Shredder. Nowadays, however, it's not that certain.

Therefore, I think about setting up an organization, called BBTTWTHWOBBEGGTHALHEA (BringBackTheTimesWhenTheHeroesWonOverBigBadEvilGuysGotTheGirlAndLivedHappilyEverAfter). They deserve it.

PS. The fourth season of my beloved "Full Metal Panic" anime is on the way. If they even try not to finally put the hero and heroine together, or dare to kill one or both of them, I swear to God, eternal suffering in hell will seem like nothing compared to five minutes with me with a fork. You have been warned.

Memories... of the times that passed us by...

"Where did our youth go?" - a question asked by a friend today got me reminisce about the simpler time of high school. The time when I actually had time for doing all those things I can't do now. You know, relaxing, reading for pleasure, eating, sleeping, the like. Together with those came all the memories of high school pranks, cheats, or 'hardcore' actions me and my friends did when we were in high school. So today, a bit less seriously, I take you with me on a sentimental journey to the fragile years. Not all are funny, but all are very dear to me.

10. Need to recite a poem, but had more important things to do? Stick the poem to the classroom wall. We did, right next to the cross, above the blackboard. As expected, the teacher had her nose deep in the book in order to find any mistake we would make, so a shy "Can I turn my back to the class? I feel stage fright" was enough to earn us all 5s. The teacher was very proud, and so were we.

9. We were walking through the schoolyard with our history teacher (a guy pushing 60), when the gym teacher (Ms Agnieszka, 24) appeared, walking in the opposite direction, straight at us. We stopped, the teachers exchanged greetings, and then the history teacher noticed some sign on her T-shirt (in the chest area, so to speak:) and shyly asked - Oh, I see you have a sign written on your garment. May I look closer and read it?. Sure - she said - though it's almost illegible. That didn't stop him from almost putting his nose between her breasts. Illegible - he agreed, and we went our separate ways. When she vanished from sight, he said - See boys? These are the ways an old man can look at young girls' breasts up close. Remember them when you are old.

8. Did you have a biology teacher who would throw your classmates notebooks at you if you misbehaved? We had. The ones with hard covers really hurt.

7. Our IT teacher was always surprised with our inability to write even the simplest of programs during class, but our great performance on tests. Well, maybe we didn't know much, but we did know how to send files through the local network.

6. The "global" biology test cheat. When somebody suggested that we swap the true questions with the ones we designed, I instantly knew we wouldn't be able to pull it off. But, as everybody claimed they would swap their tests, I said I would play along. Unfortunately, one person was caught. Nevertheless, most of us couldn't swap the tests back (having written on the original one things like "lalala, sky is blue, I'm writing so she sees I'm writing, bow-wow, little dogie") we just stuck to our versions, just accepting the inevitable 1s we would get. We also learned that some of the better students freaked out and handed in the originals. That sucked. So, the next class, the teacher comes into our classroom with her face flashing anger. She throws insults at us. She takes a test, reads the questions and asks - Do you think I'm so stupid I wouldn't realize you wanted to cheat me? I always give 5 questions, not 4! And what questions are they? What idiot designed them?... Do you know how hard it is to try and keep a serious face when every cell in your body wants to cry out laughing? Why? Because she was holding a test with HER OWN QUESTIONS, CALLING THEM DESIGNED BY AN IDIOT. She also didn't find it strange that poor students managed to get 5s and the best ones were punished with 1s for cheating... Eventually, the mistreated girls started crying, and the class wuss (there's always one) explained the situation. We got 1s with three exclamation marks. But the scene was priceless.

5. Giving results from chemistry tests was always the same for my friend.
- Robakowski, 1!
- Yes ma'am, thank you. The make up test's as always on Friday?
He would always get 4 from the make up test.

4. The last semester is one I have the best memories of. No studying whatsoever, playing pool after classes, and treating school as a social event, not place for education. One time, our 5 decided to have an aristocratic breakfast. We would bring fresh bread, home made butter, jam, honey, sausages (whoever had the connections to get those, would), tea, milk, juice and so on. Put it all on blankets on the schoolyard and eat to our hearts' content, the posh way. Wish you had seen the looks of jealousy on the faces of students and teachers alike:)

3. One time, we made a class Christmas, a 3 day long stay in a cottage in the woods. It was supposed to be a nice friendly way of integrating with classmates. As luck would have it, the guys persuaded me to bring my PS2 video game console. All the guys had a blast playing fighting and racing games, and all the girls wanted to rip my heart out.

2. Football is great! We would play it whenever we had time after school. One time, the teachers challenged us to a game. My experience: gym teachers aren't that tough, but priests kick you around mercilessly, even when you're down, explaining that "there's no mercy on holy war". O...K...

1. The biggest event we did was a school performance - the modern version of A. Mickiewicz's "Lilies". Words cannot describe it. A friend in a skirt, fighting another with 'lightsabers'(well, wooden poles, but the moves were all authentic - took me 5 days to design the fight scene they would perform), with stunts Jackie Chan himself would praise. Plot turns, multi-dimensional characters, filthy language (first sentences were something like: - Where have you been? - What the **** do you care, you ******* **** (all were beeped out, of course:P)) - we had it all. Anybody wants to look at the original script + pictures from the 3 performances we were begged to make, contact me.

That's all for me. Going back to the high school times was really nice. How about you? You're free to share your memories of youth in the comments.

Learning is bad, m'kay

Yesterday the fiendish friends of mine managed to spoil my plans for weekend study yet again. Not that I blame them, it's nice to get out to spend some quality time with one's friends (and I was to study phrasal verbs for the test:). So we went, first to shop around, then to sit in a cafe, then to walk around aimlessly, then to see "300" (nice!), then to have a drink.

In the bar, we met with our friend and a couple of her girlfriends. We were sitting, chit-chatting, when my friend started to impersonate me with the few Japanese words I taught him. Some of the girls got somewhat interested. Here's the conversation:

- So, do you guys study Japanese?
- He does - said my friend pointing at me
- Meh - said I with false modesty
- Where? - asked the attractive maiden
- Uhm, nowhere. I do it on my own as far as status quo (heh, still can't believe I really used the word) is concerned...

I recognized the look on her face. I'd seen it often. Starting from my parents, ending in complete strangers. Soon, THE question would follow.

- Whyever do do such a thing?

Just knew it! Every time's the same. So, every time, my answer's the same.

- Well, I really enjoy it.

If words had piercing power, I would have seen the wall behind her through the hole in her head. First, it's bewilderment. Then, it's disbelief. Then, it's the usual, "I'm witty and sarcastic" statement.

- What a great way of spending time (use got-woken-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night intonation). I, like, just go out and have my fun with friends.

Guess what, so do I! But instead of going out with those alcoholics (well, let's name things by their names) every evening, I'd rather do something I can enjoy without wishing for quick and merciful death the morning after! And yes, I do enjoy it. Instead of sleeping during the day, instead of watching "Prison Break" (what a fad that is), instead of playing mmorpgs. So I study Japanese in breaks between studying English, big deal. I could do that or hang around "Poznań Plaza" for God knows what reasons, like some of my friends do (I swear, they just sit there doing nothing, they freak me out). Truly, is there a reason to condemn my way of spending mine and glorify the one one of my acquaintances has (based on his gg status descriptions as well as personal interview):
- Monday -> School, gym (not for health, rather for those round, hard as rock, attractive, wide muscles), watch movies, go to sleep
- Tuesday -> School, gym, pick up easy girls on web chats, check his "fotka" account
- Wednesday -> See Monday, cross out "school"
- Thursday -> See Tuesday, cross out "school"
- Friday -> See See Monday, cross out "school", substitute watching movies for going to a mindless techno party (I really don't mind techno, just not the villageish (for the lack of better term) one that is played during Poznań's 'techno' parties)
- Saturday -> See Friday
- Sunday -> See Friday

And I'm the bad one, the nerd. Too bad the person above has no charisma whatsoever, making up for it with his enormous bicepses (he was a really great guy in high school, but dormitory life and gym turned him into a mindless golem, enslaved to the idea of random intercourses and perfect body that will become a blob after a week pause in going to the gym (for reasons I have to keep secret)).

Some understand me. They even say things like:

- You think right, you'll be able to find a lucrative job in the future.

Cool, but I don't think about salaries when going through the damned transitive-intransitive verb pairs. Neither do I daydream about swimming in money when wondering how many strokes the kanji for "to be" has (is it 3? No, that's for "to wear". One? Uhm, isn't that for "a person"? - truly, if you ever find my dead from self-inflicted, multiple stab wounds body, blame Japanese kanji).

So there you have it. I meet with my friends. I play video games. I read books. I can trash talk with the best of them. I dress up and run around in a dress impersonating a Scot, for Pete's sake. I have good grades and study a foreign language for no reason but my love for it - I'm a nerd. Thanks.

PS. Well, I did get her phone number, though:P

No jokes huh? How about a rant?

Today's evening was one of the most enjoyable this week. Even though I studied for almost entire time. Even though an hour ago, with an intention of making supper, I realized the fridge was swept clean. Even though there was no electricity for an hour.

I was home alone.

I'm probably anti-social, but I just hate to be disturbed while at home. Sure, during social situations I'm far from sitting in a corner with my mouth shut, but when it comes to staying home, others might not exist for me. The feeling was only empowered with finding the new place after returning from the Netherlands.

I knew what I was signing in for, an apartment shared with four more people that was designed for about two. "Whatever" I thought "After having looked for a single room for a few days and not finding one (don't even get me started on that) I'll go with a place that's at least close to school." And it's true, I can leave my room 5 minutes before the classes start and still be on time. However, living with 4 other (rather 5, but about that later) has some major disadvantages.

And the constantly occupied bathroom is the least significant of them.

Basically, I'm not content with 2 things. First, the people are a bunch of slackers! There are 3 girls and 1 guy, and I haven't seen any of them study at all, period. One of the girls is always out with friends, and considering the fact that her books are almost covered with spider webs, I doubt she meets with them in a library. Next one I've briefly seen, like, about 4 times in my life, so I don't know anything about her. The last one claims she studies (at least when she speaks on the phone with her angry about her not passing yet another exam mother) but still has to show me some proof of that. What she does though, is having her boyfriend at the place all the time! The guy eats here, sleeps here, and uses up the electricity and water WE pay for. He's the 6th person 'living' in the house, and it's getting kind of ridiculous.

If those aren't that bad, how about my roommate? The guy is a first year student at some private school and his days look something like this:
7.00 - the alarm clock sets off, he turns it off, roll over to the other side, claiming he didn't have to go to the 8.00 classes anyway
8.00 - still sleeping
(now my description may be a bit off, as I leave for school at about 8.00)
10.00 (as based on the few days I actually was home at that time) - slowly gets up, goes to the bathroom, eats something, sets out to school... sets out in the general direction of school, hardly ever reaching it.
15.00 - gets back from wherever he was. Here where two possible scenarios may occur:
- he either brings his girlfriend along and they're all lovey-dovey, forcing me to go outside due to getting sick from all this sweet-talk
- he goes to sleep
20.00 - both of the scenarios end, eats supper
21.00 - plays fighting games on my PSP, mashing the buttons like there's no tomorrow (only this week I 'accidentally' forgot to bring his favorite game sooo...)
(alternative) 21.00 - goes to sleep

That's all. Really, there's nothing else. My question "Where do you keep your books?" was answered simply by "Ain't got any.". Lucky him:/ I'm probably jealous of all the free time they have. In KJO we work really hard for our grades. Those guys do nothing. They'll probably be earning more after they will have finished their studies (however long it may take). Talk about fair world.

The second thing that I have trouble coping with is the overwhelming amount of love problems those guys have. I've just learned to hum the main theme of "The bold and the beautiful" whenever I open the door, as I know something is bound to hit me after entering. Either it's a lovers' argument, a bigger lovers' argument or... well, lovers' argument? Come on, you can't fight all the time! "What do you care?" some may ask "just don't listen to it". My rebuttal is: I'd really like to. Unfortunately, the place is VERY small, and they are VERY loud. "We can't be together because he says it would be a misalliance, as I have two new tractors;( " (authentic quote, even I wouldn't be able to come up with something like that). Never did I appreciate headphones as I do now. Just put them on and imagine this insanity asylum doesn't exist.

Having read the above, I dare you, condemn my desire to sit alone and study in peace. Just a few months and I'm busting out of this joint. And then I'll find a SINGLE ROOM in a place with THICK WALLS. Is it that much to ask for?

KJO - kangaroo jumps over

So, we are to write about who forced us... I mean, why we decided to become students of the prestigious KJO in Poznań. My guess is the modern building and spacious classrooms. Seriously, I don't know. It was yet another school that taught English, why not try applying there? I hadn't heard any positive (or negative for that matter) comments about it... nor about any other school I choose. I was more of a happy-go-lucky person not really caring that much about anything.

Yes, I know that's nothing to boast about, thank you.

Almost three years have passed. And now? And now I don't think I've changed that much. The school has taught me many things, from how to make a listening activity more interesting to how to prove that Moby Dick can be seen as Jesus. Some things more interesting than other, as you might guess. I regret nothing. It was fun. I've met some great people, both students and teachers. I've been sent to represent our country in the Netherlands (what's their view on Polish people after that should remain a secret, however). I've shocked teachers with my silly ideas. Good times.

I don't know if I'm cut out to be a teacher (it's somehow demotivating when your friends say things like 'I pity the poor, poor children') but who knows what the future will bring.

(See? Told you I could write an almost completely serious post! In your face, those of poor faith!)

The metamorphosis?

Today, 4 different people gave me their words of advice (with no malice of course) which can be summarized in one imperative sentence.

"Don't be a smart-mouth!"

OK, not once did I get such advice, but never so many in so short a time. Maybe I'm overdoing it? One way to find out. As of today, I vow to submit to the rules given below to the best of my abilities, and persevere in doing it for an entire week. With a box of cornflakes as my witness.

So, during this week, I won't:

- drop one-liners whenever possible, be it social events or the time the teacher tries to elicit some info from us
- tell jokes
- write about killing pets
- claim women are old after hitting 21 (or whatever age the girl in question is -1)
- laugh at people who, at the age of 22, are still asked to present ID when buying beer
- say I hate people who speak German in my presence
- submit to the temptation of using emoticons
- draw dots in my friends' notes
- talk about Godzilla instead of studying
- draw giant robots or angry jelly monsters during class
- argue with my friend who would win if we had anime-like powers
- pull girls' hair
- throw pencils at people
- play with rubber pigs taken out from somebody's bag
- say things that even remotely have two or more meanings
- use my pen as a lightsaber and try to cut my friends' heads off
- try to burn Anita with my Kamehameha energy projectile attack (never works, damn it!)
- say abstract things like "While the cucumber's away, the H₃A(aq) + H₂O(l) ⇌ H₃O⁺(aq) + H₂A⁻(aq) will play"
- write weird posts (like the last one) on my blog

OK, that's the bulk of it. So, for this week, don't expect to see any funny stuff here, instead I give you a very interesting piece about butter (from Wikipedia):

Butter is made by churning fresh or fermented cream or milk. Butter is used as a spread and a condiment, as well as in cooking applications such as baking, sauce making, and frying. As a result, butter is consumed daily in many parts of the world. Butter consists of butterfat surrounding minuscule droplets consisting mostly of water and milk proteins. The most common form of butter is made from cows' milk, but it can also be made from the milk of other mammals, including sheep, goats, buffalo, and yaks. Salt, flavorings, or preservatives are sometimes added to butter. Rendering butter produces clarified butter or ghee, which is almost entirely butterfat.

Better? I hope so. Remember, don't hesitate to slap me in the face if you see me doing one of the things above (I mean above the butter part). You'll really help me in my study of self.

Nihon no onnanoko? Hai, o kudasai.

I'm officially ending my survey. The topic?

"Do you find Japanese schoolgirls hot?"

Why am I ending it? Is it too immoral and dirty a topic to talk about? By no means. I'm ending it because I've proven my point.

The results are 89:3...

... and yes, the second numer is for those scarce few who, in their insanity, answered "no". A biology student, a city clerk, a salesman. That's it.

Males of 7 nationalities took part in the survey: Poles, Germans, Americans, Dutch, Turks, Switz, and Czechs. All, but for the 3 mentioned above, answered either "yes" or "hell yeah!".

Why did I even bother to make such survey? Well, to make a long story short, it's a matter of honor. When a friend called me a pervert after I had voiced my opinion on Japanese girls, I decided to prove to her that it's not a matter of taste - it's in men's genes. So, in the past 6 months I asked most of my friends and acquaintances for how they felt about JS. Some went a step further and asked their friends as well. And so it had spread, with every person's data meticulously preserved in my precious notebook. Now I can finally reveal the truth. Shocked? If yes, you certainly don't know how men think, and are therefore a girl.

Girls, it's not our fault we find JS sexy. Every man does, it's as natural as breathing. You won't understand that, but neither do we understand your obsession with Brad Pitt or whomever. It's just the way world works.

So, did I succeed? Did she eat her words? Well, partially. Sure she was sorry for calling me a pervert. She said she should have called all men perverts in the first place:/ Meh.

Individual info:
Sjoerd, Miszcz, Pawoł, Grzyb - thanks guys, couldn't have done it without you
Młody - you're weird... like really, really, really weird
Magda - Nanana nanana nananananana